Maybe the Walls Can Talk
In film, fairytales, and fiction there are endless references to the fact that women spend at least a portion of their lifetime, fantasying about their wedding day. I can honestly say, if I spent an hour, that was a lot and most likely ingenuous; I did however spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about my honeymoon, in Rome. I never wanted to get married.
I had never seen a marriage, which I thought worth emulating, instead, I thought the entire notion suffocating. Also, I grew up in a very religious environment, in which divorce was never going to be an option, and thus I felt like if I married the wrong person, I was stuck.
However, I never thought about spending my life alone; but if I was going to have people in my life, I wanted them there because they wanted to be there, not because of some piece of paper. Thus, I did not fight for marriage equality, nor did I fight against it.
I do not believe heterosexuals have done such a fine job, as caretakers of marriage that they should be shedding any tears tonight; and I most especially do not believe that Christian heterosexuals have a single platform to stand on, and beat their chest in anguish. I will not waste your time with going through the countless cases of priest who violated their vows of chastity, ministers who have committed adultery, and all of those so called Christian “role models” who have a penchant for fornication. At the very least, today’s ruling, by the Supreme Court, in the United States, put an end to one form of hypocrisy.
So have we witnessed Brown vs The Board of Education today or Roe vs Wade? I honestly do not know, maybe it is a bit of both. This is historical, not because of love, love stands whether the government sanctions it or not, but as of today, idiotic health care workers who keep you from your partners bedside, or civil servants who roll their eyes, at your paper work when you have not checked the boxes they deem appropriate, or clerks at say AAA who think it is their job to lecture you on how fortunate you should feel that you do not live in Miami – Dade, but rather Broward County, or you would not be able to add your domestic partner to your account, have all been silenced. To me, marriage is about making the paperwork easier and thus protecting the people involved, but perhaps I lack a bit of a romantic nature – who knew?
For those to whom the ceremony matters, today’s decision is no different than when mixed race couples were finally allowed to legally wed, all those men and women who have been planning their wedding, since they were children, will now get to pick out colors and flowers and menus and music – congratulations! Will the Supreme Court impact the meaning of marriage? Well that is up to all of the married people, not the court.
When I was 19, I went to Rome without a husband; actually, I spent a good month in Italy, covering most of the country, and I figured out I did not need to get married to have a honeymoon.
If you are wondering how you feel about today’s decision, may I encourage you take five minutes and watch this poignant clip from If These Walls Could Talk 2, which highlights why equality in marriage matters. That is all for now.
