Happy Birthday Juan
A couple of years ago, I was walking Merry, my dear dog, at Joy’s, my older sister, and her husband, Juan’s, house. Their neighbor was apparently replacing his windows, and remnants of the project, including the old windows, were strewn around his front yard. When I got back to Joy and Juan’s, I mentioned the old windows to Juan. I said I would like to have one; did he think the neighbor might part with a window? Juan did not say too much; and I went inside. The next day, he called me to the garage and asked me which windows I wanted? I could not believe it. He had gone to speak to his neighbor, and now I could pick the windows that I wanted!
I was incredibly touched. I would not have had the courage to ask the neighbor myself; and Juan had not even hinted that he might try to acquire the windows for me – but that is exactly what he did. I was thrilled; but I had also flown to New England. Would he mind holding on to the windows for me? Not a problem, he said. Pick out the ones you want and I will put them aside. Those windows have brought me great joy, not only because I was able to use them to make a birthday gift for Kate; but because every time I look at them I think about Juan’s kindness. Juan is a very busy man who works very hard, the last thing he should think about is his sister-in-law wanting a used window; but that is exactly the kind of man who he is, thank God.
Recently, Kate and I went to the movies with Joy and Juan. When we left for the movies, we were a bit rushed, wanting to make sure we would get to their favorite theater on time. I must say, they picked the perfect theater, and we had our very own private showing. After the movie, amongst the chit-chat of our film reviews and discussion of where we would eat, as we made our way to the car unhurriedly, I noticed that Juan effortless walked to the passenger’s side of the car, to open the door for Joy, his wife of thirty years, and for Kate. He casually apologized for not getting my door. I replied with some pithy comment about it being fine; but my mind lingered on his gallant behavior.
Joy and Juan have been together for a long time, they have two grown daughters, two fine son-in-laws, and one perfect grandchild, Miss Annaka! Like everyone else, in the world, I am sure they have their ups and downs, work too hard, have too many to do list, and wish they had more time to go to the movies; nevertheless, after thirty years, Juan still opens Joy’s door! How amazing is that?
How would you describe a man who parks in the street, even in the pouring rain, when I am flagging him down, motioning that I will move my car, so that he can park on his own driveway? He brushes me off with a smile, it is no big deal, he says, but it is a big deal.
I have never once seen Juan, no matter how tired he might be, after working a sixteen hour day, not offer to help; nor have I ever seen him refuse to help when asked. Juan is one of those magnanimous gentleman who still help carry in groceries, brings in packages and believes that his manhood is in no way impeded by bringing his wife a cup of tea or carrying her overloaded bag to the car.
If you ask Juan how he is, he will tell you that he is wonderful. He does not complain about his aches and pains, which I am assuming he must have; nor does he complain about what he might want or need. He always says that he is wonderful; and whether or not wonderful surmises all that he might be, his wonderful leaves me feeling hopeful.
I remember years ago, when my Mother lived with Joy and Juan and their girls; and my Mother marveled at how Juan celebrated Valentine’s Day. She said that he scattered candy kisses through the house, brought Joy flowers, and gifts for his daughters and mother-in-law. My Mother was so incredibly impressed by the romantic gestures to her daughter, and kindness to all of the other women in his household.
It is easy to be generous if you have unlimited resources; but Juan is a man winterizing windows, September is already upon us, and time is not on his side. Yet, when Kate and I ventured into his work space, and saw his router, we both commented that we had always wanted to play with a router. He started to tell us about the router and the window project, and eventually we all went on our way, Kate and I marveling that he had bought the router in 1979, talk about a good steward of his tools!
A few days later, on his day off, Juan announced that he would be using the router, and that not only could we watch . . . we could rout! I have to say, I was quite thrilled. He gave me my own piece of wood, along with a couple of lessons, and off I went with his very important power tool, that he had owned for years. Kate then got her turn, on another piece wood.
I walked away from his work bench wondering if I would be that generous? Would I let a silly person play with my power tools? Would I worry that they might break it? Would I wonder about wasting my time, teaching someone to do something that they do not need to do; especially when I have windows to winterize, with that router? Juan laughed with us, and said the router was fun to play with – which was exactly what I had wanted to do – play.
Juan is our family patriarch, and like the perfect leader, he leads by example. He takes notice of what we like, want, or need, and finds a way to be incredibly generous, even when he must be tired, overburdened, and over-whelmed. He is one of the strongest men I have ever known, empowering others while lending a helping hand; and never making others feel weak or unimportant. I also love that he brings treats!
I wish Juan a very Happy Birthday and that is all for now.
This is so true. He is just like this.