Hopeful!
“You have been hit by lightning; but you will be okay.”
~ The Neurologist ~
Those have become my most oft quoted words, of late. I have not been enjoying the freedom, which I thought the vaccine would bring. Instead, I had an ear infection in March, which turned into the most challenging time of my life.
I would like to say I am back, but a more honest assessment is that I am doing better every day. I have missed these pages, and this is a perhaps feeble attempt to re-start my work here, we shall see.
When I first tried to write again, months ago, I could not control my left hand well. It was a very odd experience; but I am doing better today. It surprised me, as I took a typing class in Jr. High, for the first time, thus I have been typing for years. I did not expect not to be able to type.
The last few months have been humbling. So many things which I had taken for granted became herculean. Today, for example, both Kate and I took notice of me being able to take my tea tray back to my room. That is not an act which I ever gave two thoughts to before; today I felt accomplished.
What have I learned? First of all, I so wish I had been more patient with my Mother. She was quite a trooper; and in general, Kate and I tried to be kind to my Mother. But oh boy can I now see how much we missed that mark – there is so much more we could have and should have done.
Second thing I have realized is that I so miss her and her friends, praying for me. My Mother was a prayer warrior, as were her friends. I always felt their prayers in my life; and I have truly missed them through these dark days.
The third thing I have learned about myself is that I need to “put my money where my mouth is”, as it were. I have always thought of myself as a person of strong faith; but when the chips were down, I really had to go looking for some help. I suppose the good news there is that I have found a whole group of new, to me, preachers, which have been feeding my soul. It is much easier to walk in faith, when everything is okay, or at least better than worse.
Fourthly, I have become so aware of how much those little acts of kindness matter. The phone call on a day you are down can really lift your spirts. This past month, I had a little boy, maybe ten years old, hold the door open for me. Not that it should matter, but the child was African-American; and in the current state our nation finds itself, I did not expect this. He was obviously in a hurry, and half-way out the door, when he noticed us. The child backed up, and propped the door open. I was so touched. I could not thank him enough. I am still moved by his kindness. I have also received Nancy’s cheery cards, on a regular basis; when I know she has her hands full, and I am sorry I have not responded. But I am saving your cards Nancy, and I appreciate your good wishes. I was also deeply moved by my great niece, who is just nine years old. She drew me a picture, (she is quite an artist) and left the picture, with my name on it, on the chair, I have been sleeping on. I was so moved and will cherish her act of kindness forever.
Yes, there have been many acts of kindness these last few months, and I am most grateful for all them –thank you; but Kate has been a trooper. I could not imagine what I would have done without her and I do not feel that a mere “Thank You” can cover how grateful I feel; but I thank you Kate.
Unfortunately, this journey is not yet over; but though extremely functional in nature, we have returned to the road, which is so hopeful. I am now cooking and playing with my plants, and even doing laundry. I know, who would have thought those things would cause you to feel celebratory in nature, but I am celebrating them all! I hope you are well and have not given up on us, we are coming back – That Is All For Now.
