It is Thanksgiving,
And I am Just Talking to Myself
I saw the post,
I understand,
you were not included,
yet again.
But here is a head’s up
my suicidal friend,
if they do not love you now,
they will not later care
that you are gone.
No, they will not suddenly regret
the unanswered letters
or missed dinners;
nor will they wish
they had not lied about being
too busy or too tired.
There will not be a moment,
when they say:
If I had only known –
they knew,
they just did not care,
neither then nor now.
If you are hoping
that standing over your coffin,
will suddenly bring a tinge
of remorse or conviction
over how they treated you,
trust me,
it will not.
The pain you feel
and the damage done to you,
they refuse to share in
and if they will not acknowledge it now
do not kid yourself into believing
it will cross their minds then.
You will be labeled the fool,
the one who refused to seek help,
the one who refused to get over it,
and the one who refused to put it in perspective.
They may lift a glass in your memory,
say a prayer for your soul,
or recite a poem
they believe you may have liked,
as they listen to a piece of music
to stir an appropriate tear;
but the tear will soon dry,
and for them
life will go on as it did before.
Listen, my suicidal friend
and trust me when I say
that they are not worth it;
I know,
they are the famed “loved ones”
but love cannot be
a one way street.
You did not make the cut,
you are not invited for Thanksgiving,
you cannot come to the wedding,
and you will not be receiving a birthday card;
I know you think knowing why would help,
but they are not going to tell you,
they really do not want to help you.
Remember, my suicidal friend
if they are not willing to celebrate your life,
they will not mourn your death.
Someone wiser than me
said: Living Well Is The Best Revenge
I do not know if that is true or even possible
with such a broken heart,
but I do know that living has to be better than dying.
So go ahead and
make a turkey with trimmings,
crash the next wedding you see,
and buy yourself a birthday cake;
I know it is not the same,
But I will eat a piece with you.
~ Cristina Jill Mosqueda ~
